Is Polygamy
biblical? The question itself is a form of trick, really, because just because
something is in the Bible does not mean it is biblical. That is, just because
we see something is in the Bible does not mean we should practice it. Cutting
one’s self to call down the powers of the gods is found in the Bible, this does
not mean we should practice such an awful ritual. Praying to images is in the
Bible, that does not mean that we should practice it. Polygamy is in this
category.
However,
there is a growing push to reinstitute polygamy today, so I have decided to
address it in my upcoming book on marriage.
Here is an excerpt
from my chapter on the issue:
The Bible presents a lot of things in both a
negative and positive light. The Scriptures present alcohol in a positive and
negative light. They same is true with food, sex, war and many other things.
So, to argue that the Bible often presents polygamous marriages in a negative
light leads to a dangerous and unthoughtful approach to biblical interpretation,
that any thoughtful critic could undo. Think about it, the very first
two-person marriage in the Bible is a failure, as well. Eve led Adam into sin
and Adam failed to lead them both out of it. Could you not, using the negative
light angle, say this frames one-man-one-woman marriage in a negative light? I
think there is a better argument to be made against polygamy, which we will explore
now.
So,
what does the Bible say about polygamy?
There is no doubt the Old Testament permitted
polygamy. The Patriarchs were mostly polygamists, Moses, the prophet who led
Israel our of Egypt and through the wilderness, had a Midianite wife and a
Cushite wife. As we saw before God specifically says he gave David many of his
wives, though Bathsheba David stole. Gideon, the judge, also had many wives,
and so too did many other righteous men in the Old Testament.
We have to admit that polygamy was a concession God
allowed, but it seems only very powerful, and very wealthy men benefitted from
the practice…well, and their wives of course, who got access to the wealth of
these men. But polygamy was not God’s intention from the beginning. Let’s got
through the Bible and refresh our memory on God’s intention.
God
created us to partner with one person. As Moses wrote in Genesis, “24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both
naked and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:24-25). There is nothing more natural than
a man and woman being together, and for
life. There is nothing more evident than that God created men and women for
each other. Men and women are created to be physically joined together and to
complement each other. We balance each other out. This very intentional design
is reiterated throughout the Old Testament.
Proverbs 5:15-21 says,
“15 Drink
water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. 16 Should your
springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be
for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be
blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful
doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always
in her love. 20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? 21 For a man's ways are before the eyes
of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.”
The fact this was written by a polygamist, who was
taught it by his polygamist dad, only adds to its strength. Think about it, if
Solomon tells you to avoid polygamy, you know he is coming from a place of
experience. Right? No one knows better how wrong it can go. He is a true and
genuine expert in the matter, and I don’t think anyone teaches more against it
in the Bible than him.
Malachi reiterates the same standard in his short
book, “But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the
LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been
faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal. 2:14).
Malachi notes that God was not blessing the people of Judah because of how they
broke their marriage covenant to their wife.
Contrary to what a lot of people believe, the ideal
of marriage between one man and one woman, is taught in the Old Testament. It
was only very powerful men in certain circumstances who practiced polygamy. It
was not practiced society wide, even in Old Testament Israel. But the New
Testament makes the standard even clearer.
Jesus
corrects the record,
“3 And Pharisees came up to him and
tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who
created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said,
‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his
wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one
flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They
said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce
and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart
Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,
and marries another, commits adultery” (Matt. 19:3-9).
Not only does Jesus reaffirm the original intention
for marriage that it should be between one man and one woman, with no
exceptions, he also says it is committing adultery for a man to divorce his
wife and marry another. If it is adultery to do this, then how much more is it
adultery to marry another, while you are married? This destroys any chance of
polygamy being legitimate for the Christian. Jesus’ words on the matter really
should serve as the final word for Christians. I know of some Christian men who
have tried to live in polygamous marriages and their wives have had to leave
them over this. This is a legitimate reason for their wives to divorce them. Just
as it would be for a man to divorce his wife if she took another man.
Paul builds on Jesus’ words and affirms that elders
must be the husband of one wife, “3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone
aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an
overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded,
self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,…” (1
Tim 3:1-2). The overseer “must be”
present tense “the husband of one wife…” Many have seen this passage as
explicitly rebuking polygamy, and I agree with them, as overseers are to be
models to the rest of the congregation.
Paul
reiterates the standard of monogamy in many places, including Ephesians 5,
“22 Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything
to their husbands” (vv.22-24).
Some devious people might try to argue that Paul
uses the plural word for “wives” or “women” here. But he is referring to a
collective group of people. Each wife should understand how what Paul says here
applies to her relationship with her husband. The husband-and-wife relationship
in the bible reflects the relationship between Christ and the church, and
Christ only has one bride: The Church.
Now,
I am going to reiterate that. There are not two peoples of God, therefore a man
should not have two brides. The image of one husband one bride comes from God’s
fellowship with his one bride, the church, which is all who believe in him. Paul
also says in 1 Corinthians 7:2, “2 But because of the temptation to sexual
immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
Paul clearly understood Jesus’ words on marriage to be the final word on the
matter, because he bases all of his teachings on Jesus’ understanding of
marriage, and does not negate it in any way. Hence, it is the final word on the
matter for Christians.
So, we can see that the New Testament very strongly,
and firmly, reasserts the original form of marriage as absolute. From Jesus’
words to Paul’s, to the end of Revelation marriage is between on man and his
bride. The final picture of a wedding ceremony in Revelation 19 even illustrates
this for us, “7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him
the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride
has made herself ready…” (Rev.
19:7). Marriage is between a man and a women. Every
other form of marriage invented by the mind of men is just a poor copy of what
marriage actually is.
