What Do Women Desire The Most?

 

Remember that old Mel Gibson movie, What Women Want, about a misogynistic lady’s man who is given the power to hear what all the women around him are thinking?

Would that be a blessing or a curse? The movie explores that concept in a funny way.

This is a perennial question that men ask, “What DO women want?” They ask it about their girlfriends, about their wives, about women in general. Marketers have learnt to ask it about their favourite market, women, who make most the most purchases in society in most areas. So, what do women want? Or more precisely, what do women desire above all other things?

Well, perhaps some ancient texts can answer this question for us.

In the Wife of Bath’s Tale, in The Canterbury Tales, we read of a disgraced Knight who violated a woman and who is told by the Queen that his only chance at not being killed, is that he should go out into the world and in 12 months a day, find out what it is that women desire the most. The Knight finds his answer,

“Before the knight this old wife did arise,

And said: "Sir knight, hence lies no travelled way.

Tell me what thing you seek, and by your fay.

Perchance you'll find it may the better be;

These ancient folks know many things," said she.

"Dear mother," said this knight assuredly,

"I am but dead, save I can tell, truly,

What thing it is that women most desire;

Could you inform me, I'd pay well your hire."

"Plight me your troth here, hand in hand," said she,

"That you will do, whatever it may be,

The thing I ask if it lie in your might;

And I'll give you your answer ere the night."

"Have here my word," said he. "That thing I grant."

"Then," said the crone, "of this I make my vaunt,

Your life is safe; and I will stand thereby,

Upon my life, the queen will say as I.

Let's see which is the proudest of them all

That wears upon her hair kerchief or caul,

Shall dare say no to that which I shall teach;

Let us go now and without longer speech."

Then whispered she a sentence in his ear,

And bade him to be glad and have no fear.

When they were come unto the court, this knight

Said he had kept his promise as was right,

And ready was his answer, as he said.

Full many a noble wife, and many a maid,

And many a widow, since they are so wise,

The queen herself sitting as high justice,

Assembled were, his answer there to hear;

And then the knight was bidden to appear.

Command was given for silence in the hall,

And that the knight should tell before them all

What thing all worldly women love the best.

This knight did not stand dumb, as does a beast,

But to this question presently answered

With manly voice, so that the whole court heard:

"My liege lady, generally," said he,

"Women desire to have the sovereignty

As well upon their husband as their love,

And to have mastery their man above;

This thing you most desire, though me you kill

Do as you please, I am here at your will."

In all the court there was no wife or maid

Or widow that denied the thing he said,

But all held, he was worthy to have life.”[1]

What do women desire the most in the world? “Women desire to have the sovereignty, as well upon their husband as their love, and to have mastery their man above.” In other words, women desire above all things to rule their husbands. This is exactly how this tale ends, as well. The man ends up being bound by an oath to marry the older woman, who turns out to have the ability to magically transform herself into a pleasing and beautiful wife, but not before she has gained the mastery,

“This knight considered, and did sorely sigh,

But at the last replied as you shall hear:

"My lady and my love, and wife so dear,

I put myself in your wise governing;

Do you choose which may be the more pleasing,

And bring most honour to you, and me also.

I care not which it be of these things two;

For if you like it, that suffices me."

"Then have I got of you the mastery,

Since I may choose and govern, in earnest?"

"Yes, truly, wife," said he, "I hold that best."

"Kiss me," said she, "we'll be no longer wroth,

For by my truth, to you I will be both;

That is to say, I'll be both good and fair.”[2]

Now, I would never say that The Wife of Bath, nor her tale, should be seen as a beacon of morality. Chaucer was not writing a text of high-minded morality, he was writing a series of interesting tales, some that do speak of high morality, others that are simple comedies or interesting stories. However, this insight that women want to rule their husbands, is as true and ancient an insight as you will ever find.

God says to the woman in Genesis 3:16, “Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.” Some have understood this to be sexual desire, and perhaps that is part of it. But when you compare this with the fact that God says in Genesis 4 to Cain that sin desires to have him, but he must rule over it, then it is best understood as sovereignty. The woman wants sovereignty over her husband.

The context best supports this, as well, because Adam deferred to his wife’s authority and ate what she give him. He is responsible for not seeking to rule correctly and rebuking the serpent. But in this act we see the beginning of the battle of the sexes, the struggle between men and women, the desire for the woman to rule, and the temptation for the man to tyrannize or dominate in response. Rather than a relationship of mutuality with the man leading in a harmonious fellowship, a wedge was introduced on this day between man and woman. One that still exists. One that every relationship experiences in one way or another.

This is why there are several commands in the New Testament encouraging wives to submissively respect their husbands (1 Pet. 3:7, Eph. 5:24, Col. 3:18). Because their sinful nature can inspire them to rebel, just as the man’s sinful nature can make him too harsh, too domineering, or oppressive. Which is why Peter says we should consider our wives as they are the weaker vessel and why Paul says that a man and his wife are one and no man hurts his own body.

The Church is really good at addressing the sinful aspects of masculinity. In fact, it has done such a good job at this, that in many cases it has crushed a lot of masculinity in the Church and driven many men away. We have overcorrected from past errors and even some claimed errors, a common human trait no doubt. The Bible challenges the sinful aspects of masculinity as well, so, there is place for this in the Church to be done wisely and biblically. But what is often overlooked is that the Bible addresses the tendency in women to seek to dominate their husbands, or men in general. Here are two stand out passages,

“16 Moreover the Lord says: “Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, And walk with outstretched necks And wanton eyes, Walking and mincing as they go, Making a jingling with their feet, 17 Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab The crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, And the Lord will uncover their secret parts” (Isa. 3:16-17).

“1 Hear this word, you cows of Bashan, who are on the mountain of Samaria, Who oppress the poor, Who crush the needy, Who say to your husbands, “Bring wine, let us drink!” 2 The Lord God has sworn by His holiness: “Behold, the days shall come upon you When He will take you away with fishhooks, And your posterity with fishhooks. 3 You will go out through broken walls, Each one straight ahead of her, And you will be cast into Harmon,” Says the Lord” (Amos. 4:1-3).

The haughtiness of women who have won the battle of the sexes is offensive to God. Just as the man who is domineering to his wife is offensive to God. Sadly, we live in a day and age which is very much akin to the one in which we see in Isaiah 1-3 and Amos 4. These passages are describing, respectively, the kingdom of Judah and the Kingdom of Israel. They are describing societies captured by pusillanimous men and domineering wives, women who mince about, boss their husbands around, and believe they are secure in their prosperity.

Meanwhile, the hoards of men from cultures that don’t tolerate such behaviour are increasing and banging down the doors of our nation…I mean their nation…well, it both really.  

So, what do women desire most of all? This: "Then have I got of you the mastery, Since I may choose and govern, in earnest?" I think many men give into their wife’s desire to rule in the home for a simple reason: it is easier. It is easier to just defer to that than deal with the stress that can come from seeking to resist giving into this. But this is the man’s challenge, to lead well, without becoming a tyrant himself. This is what men are called to. This is the challenge, if you are willing to accept it.

More men should be taught this before they pursue marriage, too many are fooled by our modern society’s lies about egalitarianism and go charging into marriage thinking it will be an equal partnership, only to find out that their wife means by equal that you defer to her whenever she requires. Many Aussie men acquiesce to that desire of their wives. After working all day, dealing with things going wrong at work, dealing with modern traffic, dealing with whatever else is going on, who has the emotional energy to care enough to seek to wrestle over such things?

The diligent man, that is who.

But beware men, because many women come to despise the men who give in and are ruled by them. Women want a man they can respect. They want this as much, or even more, than a man to rule. When they work hard to rule, it is so that they can feel safe. A man who is too easily ruled is not dangerous, but he is also not safe, because his soft belly has been exposed. This is why so many women become very masculine as they age, they have had to harden to keep themselves safe. This is also why so many of these men find their wives falling for other men, they are drawn to a man they can respect.

This area is more of an art than a science. Every couple is going to work this out in different ways, or not at all, but all will face this struggle. I am simply noting that you should not go into marriage unaware of this tendency in women, and of the effects this will have on you, your marriage, your children, your church, and every part of society your family touches.

And society, in general, is barracking for your wife to win the struggle for leadership. Come to think about it, is that not what the movie What Women Want is about? Did not Helen Hunt gain the upper hand over Gibson’s character? Interesting how the newer tales are just versions of the ancient tales, indicating that this is a perennial truth.

List of References

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[1] Chaucer, Geoffrey .. The Canterbury Tales: FREE Hamlet By William Shakespeare (JKL Classics - Active TOC, Active Footnotes ,Illustrated) (pp. 292-293). JKL Classics. Kindle Edition.

[2] Chaucer, Geoffrey .. The Canterbury Tales: FREE Hamlet By William Shakespeare (JKL Classics - Active TOC, Active Footnotes ,Illustrated) (p. 298). JKL Classics. Kindle Edition.

A Modern Holocaust

 

You can watch the livestream of this interview tonight at Based Christian History at 8pm AEST.  

Every 11 days a woman is killed in Australia. Every 11 days. Some data notes it is 125 women a year. It is considered a national crisis. The resources of many government and civilian organizations are brought to bear on this problem. One woman killed is one too many. No one disagrees. Well, almost no one. And those who disagree will be correctly shunned from polite society.

Between 78,000 and 90,000 children are killed every year in this country. Every day a mother, an infanticide provider (called doctors) and sometimes, but not always, the father will combine together to kill between 214 and 247 children a day. We don't know the exact numbers, because it is such a national disgrace and crime against humanity the precise numbers are not reported. For all our governments claims about how this should be allowed, even they feel some shame about this situation, or at least a desire to hide it.

This means that though feminist domestic violence institutions like to say that the home is the most dangerous place for women, it is between 624 to 720 times safer for a woman than the womb is for an unborn child. And about half those unborn children would have been women, if they had the chance to be born and grow up.

It takes less than two years for mothers, abortionists, and sometimes the fathers also, to kill more children than the total number of Soldiers who have died in Australian wars. More children die each year in the womb, than the amount of Australian men who died in WW1, about 60,000.

No one is more likely to kill a woman than her partner. But such men are rare. Less than 125 a year do this. In a country of 27 million, that number is statistically infinitesimal. Tiny, fractionally tiny. Women are incredibly safe in the home. No man who hits his wife gets any respect, nor should he. As an ancient Roman leader once said, "A man who strikes his wife, strikes what is most precious." Even ancient cultures that may have allowed it frowned on men who were so weak as to hit a woman. Our culture has made it a national disgrace to be such a man. Well done.

No one is more likely to kill a child than their mother, and an abortion provider. The father may be involved. But he has no legal right to be, can be charged if he coerces her, and often is not told anyway.

More children killed each day, than women killed each year. In fact, nearly double the amount each day.

This holocaust is too great. Our national shame is too great, to be polite or quiet about this.

Some would say, incorrectly, that God will judge us for this, as a nation. They are well meaning, but wrong.

He already is. It is happening.

Birth rates have plummeted so fast, Australia's own government is importing in people, mostly from cultures that do not grant this same right to their women. Do you think that is a coincidence?

While Australians are increasing in homelessness, record numbers of foreigners are moving in and buying Aussie homes. People, often from cultures that consider children wealth.

How often are aborted children incinerated after the act? What did God say would happen to a culture that rejects him and passes its children through the fires?

"43 The sojourner who is among you shall rise higher and higher above you, and you shall come down lower and lower. 44 He shall lend to you, and you shall not lend to him. He shall be the head, and you shall be the tail. 45 “All these curses shall come upon you and pursue you and overtake you till you are destroyed, because you did not obey the voice of the Lord your God, to keep his commandments and his statutes that he commanded you" (Deut. 28:43-45).

This nation has many ills. At the top of this list is women being allowed to do this. Men have been conditioned and encouraged to police each other and never accept domestic violence against a woman. I think we can only solve this issue if women are conditioned and encouraged to police each other in a similar way.

In light of this, I will be interviewing Mike Foster on my channel, Based Christian History, tonight at 8pm AEST about the Pro-Life position. You can click this link here to watch the debate live or later.

Are We Really Honouring the ANZACs?

I have a lot of mixed feelings on ANZAC day. I believe honouring the soldiers who laid down their lives for our country is a noble thing. They fought for our country and they fought for their mates. Some of the best young men our society ever produced never came home. Many who did were broken. 

Yet they died for a different country, a country that no longer exists.  In fact, they died for a country that many of our current leaders would tell us we should be ashamed of. They died for a country that was unashamedly Christian, many had Bibles in their kits, they died for a country that was almost completely united in origin and history. And they died for a country that would be horrified by the country we are today. We have a Prime Minister that has said people who would like to return to the country we came from are people of concern. He has himself expressed his desire to change the culture our ANZACs believed in. A largely Christian society. 

Part of the reason we are in this situation is because in two world wars and more, our men died fighting for a globalist system, often without realizing it. They were told they were signing up for our country, and then they were used by leaders who have no loyalty to our heritage or traditions, but to international causes. One of the reasons so many of our veterans struggle is because they come to realize this. 

Australians are conditioned to believe that this is our role in the world. That we should fight for foreign causes, in foreign lands, for the policies of foreign nations. We are ruled by leaders who cynically use days of remembrance to condition us to think this way. The vast majority of Australian casualties of war, men in the prime of their lives, died fighting people who never had any intention or ability to invade our country. Then we are reminded every year that this is how Australia's military adventures are begun. This does something to the psyche of a nation. 

Have you ever wondered why our country is so dedicated to following foreign trends and countries, and almost never forges its own path? It is in large part because we have been conditioned to think of ourselves as a small part of the efforts of larger powers. Larger powers who did not think twice about sending our best young men into an unwinnable battle, while their commanders drank tea, and thought of our men as markers on a map. That happened at Gallipoli, that is how the kind of elites who rule our nations think of the men who serve. Think about that. 

They think about you like that. It’s why they have no care that Aussies are becoming more homeless because of their policies. All they see is markers in a map, stats on a graph. 

But those soldiers were more than markers on a map. They were the backbone of our society.

Some will confuse this for an attack on our soldiers it is not. It is a critique about how cynically our greatest traditions, and our most remembered historical events, are used to create a compliant population. Or at least one that does not question things like why are we sending our best everywhere, when they are needed here? Why does Australia always serve foreign interests? Why is the foreigner being given our nation, when it was defended by our best men?

I have been meditating on this for some time. But my devotion today compelled me to write about this. 

The Bible is not about what happened. It is about what always happens. It is about what happens when a nation abandons God or when a people trusts in God. 

Look at this passage, 

"5 O house of Jacob, come and let us walk

In the light of the Lord.

6 For You have forsaken Your people, the house of Jacob,

Because they are filled with eastern ways;

They are soothsayers like the Philistines,

And they are pleased with the children of foreigners.

7 Their land is also full of silver and gold,

And there is no end to their treasures;

Their land is also full of horses,

And there is no end to their chariots.

8 Their land is also full of idols;

They worship the work of their own hands,

That which their own fingers have made.

9 People bow down,

And each man humbles himself;

Therefore do not forgive them." (Isa. 2:6-9)

It is not soldiers and weapons that ultimately keeps us safe. It is the favour of God. Jacob (Israel) had become proud in their abilities and capabilities, their weapons, and their own selves. Read this passage, does it not describe our culture? Does is not describe a society that has been trained to look at their own efforts, and not the God who grants peace or allows war?

If our traditions do not point us to honour the kind of country Australia actually was, then how are we honouring the ANZACs? How are we honouring their legacy if we just ritualize the day, but fail to recognize what our country has turned into: one the ANZACs would have seen as the antithesis of their beliefs. One that does not centre itself around the very God that many of them prayed to in the heat of battle.

So, for me, ANZAC day is a really mixed day. I have marched as a participant in ANZAC parades as a youth and I have participated as a soldier. The legacy of our soldiers deserves better than what we have done as a nation.

Are Antidepressants Destroying Your Marriage?

 

Sex has never been easier than it is today. In our modern age sex has never been more free, more encouraged, never have more varieties of sex been more tolerated and openly discussed and pictured, as least not since Sodom or Pompeii. And yet people are having less sex, in fact some are calling this a sex recession, because of how many people are not having sex or are having little sex:

“The sex recession, also known as the sexual recession, refers to a decline in sexual activity among adults, particularly among young adults. This phenomenon has been observed in various studies and research papers, and its causes and implications are still being debated.

Several studies have investigated the sex recession, including a 2021 study in the Journal of Sex and a 2019 study published by The Atlantic that found young adults in the United States are having less sex than previous generations. This trend has been observed in various countries, including Australia, Japan, France, and the United Kingdom.”[1]

This might sound strange to you, especially if you are a little older now. If you came into adolescence in the 90’s and early 2000’s you will remember how many comedies there were at the time in the cinemas that presented sex as the ultimate goal of the young men or women. Movies like American Pie, Road Trip, Van Wilder Party Liaison, and more were constantly pushing a hypersexualized message. There was a constant stream of these kinds of movies. I am not suggesting you watch them, in fact I would recommend you do not. But the transition from a culture that appeared sex obsessed into a culture that is shunning sex in increasing numbers is an interesting one. Those kinds of comedies would never reach mass appeal in our day and age, and yet society is supposed to be more sexually free…right…?

A lot of research focuses around how younger people are having less sex,

“Increased rates of sexlessness have been documented around the world, among all age cohorts, regardless of marital status. But what’s most astounding is that this trend is particularly pronounced among younger generations, including millennials (born from 1980 to 1994) and Gen Z (born from 1995 to 2012), with roughly one in three men and one in five women saying they haven’t had sex in the past year.”[2]

However, if you pay attention you will see that this trend is being observed in all age cohorts, no matter their marital status, and this is what I want to hone in on in this piece. However, why we are looking at how this trend is effecting young adults will become more obvious as you read through. Marital status should be associated with increased sexual activity, not a massive decrease, however a lot of data, and anecdotal evidence suggest that sexless marriages are becoming a plague in our society right now, and men and women are crying out.

One element that a lot of people may not be aware that is negatively affecting their sex life is antidepressants,

“Interventions that have the capacity to modify our biology, mating psychology, and mental health are driving these trends. For example, two common types of pharmaceutical drugs — selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs, a class of antidepressants) and the birth control pill — are known to decrease libido as a side effect.

Although these interventions have the potential to aid many, we must ask what their influence has been on young people. Many begin their usage in childhood, and this has the potential to affect them profoundly.

More than a third of Gen Z report taking prescription medication for a mental health condition. If an individual is uncomfortable in social situations or when required to have face-to-face interactions, they will be less inclined to want to meet new people in the context of dating. Sexual intimacy requires being comfortable in your body, being present in your head, and being willing to put yourself in a position of possibly being judged or rejected by someone else.”[3]

We should add here that it should also include only being done in the context of marriage between a man and woman.

There are many reasons to be concerned about the amount of young people on medication for mental health conditions. But one that is becoming increasingly recognized is how these medications can be detrimental to sexual development and function well into adulthood.

“We know little, however, about the long-term effects of SSRIs on adolescents’ sexual development. This is concerning, considering SSRIs have been approved for use in children as young as 6-years-old, and nearly 4% of children and adolescents aged 3 to 17 in the United States take them.

One recent study using a rodent model showed that exposure to an SSRI was associated with changes to a part of the brain that is involved in emotion regulation and stress management.

There are also data emerging about a condition called post-SSRI sexual dysfunction, which describes sexual side effects from SSRIs (and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors) that persist after a person has ceased taking the medication. This can include a loss of sexual desire and arousal, numbness in one’s sexual anatomy, and sexual dysfunction, including erectile dysfunction and difficulty reaching orgasm.

In some cases, individuals who began these medications during their teenage years report a blunting of emotions and an inability to feel crushes, foreclosing their desire in adulthood to be sexually active.”

It should be noted that these reflections are written by Dr Debrah Soh, who “is a sex neuroscientist and the author of “Sextinction: The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy.”[4] These are well informed points of data that we should take seriously, because this is affecting society in incredibly deleterious ways.

I want you to consider the fact that in our society many young people are prescribed drugs which are known to suppress sexual development and function. Now, it is inappropriate for young people to be engaging in sexual behaviour, so you might ask what is the big deal? The big deal is that these young people come into adulthood and their neural pathways and their behaviour have been detrimentally affected by these drugs already. This is not theoretical, the decline in sexual activity is being observed and documented across age groups. This does not just happen if people are prescribed these drugs from a young age, this effect can happen at any age.

But here is the reason why we have begun this discussion off with this point: if you think the problem is bad now, just wait, because it is going to get worse. Much worse. These drugs can affect sexual ability at any age, but we are now raising increasing numbers of young adults who come into the age where they should be thinking about marriage, and they have been chemically castrated, or severely damaged, before they can even begin to start forming serious relationships.

You will be surprised, and I hope a little horrified, at just how common sexual disfunction is from anti-depressants,

“Sexual side effects from psychiatric drugs, especially SSRIs, SNRIs, and antipsychotics, are not “rare” inconveniences. They’re well-documented, common, and in many cases, long-lasting.

Research shows:

• SSRIs cause sexual dysfunction in 50–70% of users (we bet even more) (Montejo et al., 2001; Serretti & Chiesa, 2009).
• Effects include loss of desire, arousal difficulties, genital numbness, and inability to orgasm and a basic loss of disconnection.
• Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD)—a condition where sexual function never fully returns even after stopping the medication has been documented in peer-reviewed journals and acknowledged by the European Medicines Agency (EMA, 2019).

Yet despite this, patients’ concerns are routinely minimized or dismissed.”[5]

50-70% of users!! Think about that. 50-70% of users. I am becoming increasingly aware of a plague of sexless marriages in our society. There could be many contributing causes for this. For instance, regular porn use is known to decrease libido and effect sexual function. Relational issues are also known to decrease libido. Work-life balance is also a contributing factor, so too is the fact that both men and women work so much today that many couples have little time for connection and are often too tired for physical connection. But another underlying problem that many people are not aware of is that their spouse might not be interested in sex, because their sexual organs have been numbed or damaged by antidepressants.

And in some cases this function NEVER FULLY RETURNS!!

The European Medicines Agency notes about Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction:

“This study is specifically addressed to post-SSRI sexual dysfunctions. There is scarce literature on the case definition of post-SSRI sexual dysfunction. Available literature1,2 clarifies that PSSD, while nominally referring to SSRIs, applies to antidepressants in general. PSSD is, thus, a misnomer and better defined as post-antidepressant sexual dysfunctions.

PSSD is classified as sexual dysfunction disorders, which manifest days or weeks after beginning antidepressants and persist after discontinuation. The sexual dysfunction disorders that make up PSSD in the literature seem to be selected based on frequency of occurrence. 

These signs and symptoms are: genital hypoaesthesia, loss of libido, libido decreased, female sexual arousal disorder, anorgasmia, female orgasmic disorder, male orgasmic disorder, orgasm abnormal, orgasmic sensation decreased, premature ejaculation, ejaculation delayed, ejaculation failure, vulvovaginal dryness, nipple hypoaesthesia , nipple hypoesthesia.”[6]

Among the most common reported sexual dysfunction side effects reported are,

“Within the narrow definition, the most frequently reported reaction PTs are ‘libido decreased’ (716), ‘loss of libido’ (378) and ‘anorgasmia’ (296). Within the extended definition, ‘erectile dysfunction’ (691), ‘sexual dysfunction’ (599) and ‘priapism’ (231) account for the highest numbers of reports.”[7]

The cases of these side effects being reported are increasing.[8] But it should be noted that the numbers are vastly unreported, because people are loath to discuss such things with other people.

The study notes that that they cannot conclusively determine whether these ongoing cases were from the medications or the fact that these people were not healed from their depression.[9] When you consider that sexual dysfunction is itself a reason why somebody would become depressed or that would increase someone’s depression, and the fact that these drugs are not guaranteed to work anyway, and that they do have known side effects of sexual dysfunction, then it is incredibly irresponsible that people are put in this position.

One of the symptoms here, anorgasmia, is particularly disturbing to contemplate,

“Anorgasmia is delayed, infrequent or absent orgasms — or significantly less-intense orgasms — after sexual arousal and adequate sexual stimulation. Women who have problems with orgasms and who feel significant distress about those problems may be diagnosed with anorgasmia.”[10]

Erectile dysfunction for a man, or the inability to have an orgasm is incredibly distressing. However, if he is able to go a long time without orgasm this might not be seen as distressing by many. But for the woman this will bring a lot of anxiety alongside a general and growing disinterest in sex. When you consider that anorgasmia can be so extreme that neither a man or woman can orgasm, you can imagine the distress this causes.

This dysfunction can have varied root causes. There could be physical reasons, psychological reasons, situational reasons, or health reasons. But among the causes is antidepressants, as we have noted, but this should be reiterated, “Medicines. Many prescription and nonprescription medications can inhibit orgasm, including blood pressure medicines, antipsychotic medicines, antihistamines and antidepressants — particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).”[11]

This anorgasmia can be accompanied by other related sexual problems, “These may contribute to or complicate the problem with having orgasms. These conditions include:

• Problems with sexual arousal.
• Little or no desire for sex.
• Pain from sexual intercourse or other sexual stimulation.
• Dryness of the vagina or vulva.
• Involuntary tightening of the vagina, called vaginismus.”[12]

Even though this condition can have many causes, one cause that many people just would not expect is the medicine given to them by their doctors to help them relieve stress, anxiety, or depression. In fact, it is intuitive, but also documented, that this sexual dysfunction can have a compounding effect on someone who is depressed already, “A 2010 meta-analysis (Atlantis & Sullivan) found that sexual dysfunction can worsen depression, not improve it.”[13]

As Dr Teralyn also notes “sexual satisfaction is a predictor of relational stability” and this is really intuitive as well. Is it not? If you take a marriage that is facing struggles because the wife is depressed, and rather than working on the root causes of what has brought on that depression, you instead throw in medication that is going to very possibly hamper the ability for the husband or wife, or both, to function normally in sex, you are guaranteed to cause issues.

And while sex is front and centre in this situation, it can go far beyond that. The lessening of a desire for sex, can simply be a lessening in desire for anything. As one woman has noted, a user of SSRIs has cried out, “Now I just look at him and I feel blank, like I can’t be bothered to speak to him.’ She wouldn’t be the first woman to fall out of love. And yet, clouding her judgement over her feelings for a man she was once ‘obsessed with’ is that she doesn’t feel anything at all.”[14] In fact, many users of this medication report that relationships do suffer as a result of their taking it.[15] In line with what is mentioned above about Women’s Health notes that “40% and 60% of those on antidepressants have experienced some form of sexual dysfunction, with women more likely to struggle.”[16] Many describe this process of going numb to those they love and much else in their lives. And we call this healing? It is more like a form of lobotomy.

Men, maybe you are not a good enough lover, it is known that some men are in this category. But if you went from a very passionate love life with your wife, to the fact that she is no longer interested, there is a strong possibility that if she is taking this sort of medication it is to blame. As another woman notes,

“’When I first went on citalopram, I felt numbness down there and had a really reduced libido,’ she recalls. At the time, she wasn’t in a relationship and the symptoms didn’t trouble her too much. It was meeting her partner that made the ‘numbness’ – both physical and emotional - feel unnavigable. ‘He was supportive and told me he would rather I was on meds and functioning than not on them. But eventually, the lack of sex caused our relationship to fizzle.’”

Men has this happened in your marriage? Women has this happened to you or your husband?

Part of the reason that SSRIs have this effect is because they blunt the pleasure reward functions in your brain, as well as lessening emotional pain.[17] They literally numb your mind. Patients “become less sensitive to rewards”[18] as a result. This might be sex, or some other kind of activity that brings you joy or pleasure. They dull your brains ability to find pleasure in pleasurable things. And these things have a known track record of destroying relationships and marriages,

“Across the forums in which SSRIs’ relational symptoms are dissected, posters range from those who watched their spouses and partners change after going on medication, to those who were prescribed SSRIs and found their relationships flipped from passionate to viewing their partners as roommates or friends. But there are also stories like Harriet’s; women who link taking an SSRI with acting in ways they felt were out of character, including chasing new sexual experiences such as one-night stands or affairs and feeling ‘alien’ in their homes.”[19]

Doctors are prescribing drugs to women that can make them indifferent to their partners but excited about the guy at the bar. I suspect the reason this is happens is simply because when you are numb you need heightened stimulation to activate your pleasure circuits. But it should be noted they are not sure exactly why this happens.[20] Needing heightened stimuli is known side effect of other kinds of drugs, thought.

For some women, the sacrifice is worth it,

“Less likely to end up on the forums are stories like Julia’s. Just before her son’s first birthday, the 39-year-old midwife from Edinburgh called her GP in tears. ‘I remember telling her that I couldn’t laugh at my husband’s jokes any more, or follow what he was saying,’ she recalls, of a challenging period during one of the lockdowns. Her GP prescribed sertraline, which she’s been taking ever since. ‘My son is now six years old and I can truly say [the medication] gave me my old self back. In terms of my relationship with my husband, who I’ve been with for a decade, I’m so much easier going. He spends a lot less time reassuring me about my anxieties and I can laugh at his jokes again.’ The relational impact hasn’t been wholly positive; the medication has ‘completely wiped’ her sex drive. ‘But I still enjoy sex when it happens. And even if I’d have known the impact it would have on my sex life, I’d make the same choice again.’”[21]

Of course, has anyone stopped to wonder if maybe the reason so many people were willing to tolerate things like lockdowns was because they could use prescribed drugs to just numb how they really felt about one of the greatest psychological operations in history? Men are you ok with the sexual side of your marriage being largely written off so that your wife can numb her mind to the stresses of being a wife, mother, nurse and more all in the middle of an extreme time like the lockdowns we went through? Has anyone stopped to ask if so many women are depressed because modern society expects them to be fulltime workers, mums, wives, girlfriends, etc, etc.?

As you can see the evidence that antidepressants are causing a plague of sexless marriages is massive. In fact, A Midwestern Doctor notes something we should all pay attention to,

“SSRI antidepressants are one of the most harmful medications on the market, and because of just how many people they are given to (often for no good reason as only a minority of patients benefit from SSRIs) they have had a profound effect on the consciousness of our entire society.”[22]

To illustrate this in vivid picture form, look at this account,

“He took a moderate dose, a 10 milligram pill, and an hour later, he said, “I had numb genitals.” He abandoned the drug almost right away and has taken no psychiatric medication since. “Three years later,” he explained, his penis “feels like my elbow — if you touch my elbow, it’s that same kind of sensation.” And there is emotional numbness to go with the physical. “I can’t feel any connection to you guys — I feel like my soul was ripped out of my body.” He has tried to get doctors to pay attention. “They were like: That’s impossible. It’s all in your head.”[23]

What are we doing to people? How much carnage has been wrought by these evil medications? And I mean evil. I learnt in my Jeremiah exegesis class all the way back in my early bible college years, that in Hebrew the base definition of evil is that which harms human flourishing. Are these drugs not doing this, and in spades?

And to bring us back to the start of the article where we noted that kids are being raised on these things,

“Only over the past few years has Ruth learned, from her daughter, about the sexual side effects she still lives with and about her grief. “Her erogenous zones don’t work,” “I have huge, terrible regret” about allowing her child to be medicated. “I can’t believe I so easily said yes.”[24]

I make no bones about saying that I see an evil plot in action here. From very young ages people are being raised in a society that sees the numbing of their brain, and therefore the artificial warping of their neural pathways, as a normal and recommended thing to do. I see it as the neurological version of binding feet. If you think that is too extreme, consider not being able to have a girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband or family, because you were given these things either at a young age, or when you were already an adult and you were among those who faced the most severe side effects. And I have not even gotten into the other problems these sorts of meds can cause.

Are antidepressants causing sexless marriages? Unquestionably. “Sexual dysfunction is common in remitted female depression patients on SSRI treatment, which may further impair their marital satisfaction and QOL. Hence, routine screening for sexual dysfunction is necessary for them.”[25]

Are they the only thing causing this? No. There are of course other factors. Even in cases where antidepressants are having this impact, there could have been other causes to begin with, and the drugs may have just exacerbated the situation. Depression is a complicated thing. It can have physical causes, but it is far more likely to be environmental. A woman whose husband is making her depressed might not care about having sex with him anyway. So don’t oversimplify this as a single cause issue, as it is not. However, these drugs are creating eunuchs. And I believe this is intentional. Not necessarily in the mind of every doctor, that is almost certainly not the case. But in the broader context of an misanthropic society with population agendas, anything that causes impotence or low libido should be viewed suspiciously.

I guess getting rid of the original Hippocratic oath about doing no harm was more consequential than people want to admit.  

List of References

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[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_recession

[2] Debrah Soh, 2026, https://www.dailywire.com/news/the-sex-recession-hitting-gen-z-and-whats-quietly-killing-their-drive

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Dr Teralyn, 2025, https://drteralyn.com/how-ssris-and-other-psychiatric-medications-secretly-damage-your-relationship/

[6] European Medicines Agency, 2019, Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and other antidepressants and persistent sexual dysfunction https://catalogues.ema.europa.eu/sites/default/files/document_files/Antidepressants%20and%20PSSD%20-%20EV%20analysis%20-%20report%20-%2020190220.pdf p6.

[7] Ibid. p11.

[8] Ibid. p12

[9] Ibid, p16.

[10] Mayo Clinic, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anorgasmia/symptoms-causes/syc-20369422

[11] Ibid.

[12] Ibid.

[13] Dr Teralyn, 2025, https://drteralyn.com/how-ssris-and-other-psychiatric-medications-secretly-damage-your-relationship/

[14] Catriona Innes, Inside the SSRI Marriages, Women’s Health (available through apple news).

[15] Ibid.

[16] Ibid.

[17] Ibid.

[18] Ibid.

[19] Ibid.

[20] Ibid.

[21] Ibid.

[22] A Midwestern Doctor, 2026, https://www.midwesterndoctor.com/p/the-truth-about-ssri-antidepressants?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1envt0&fbclid=IwY2xjawRSkQZleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFPY2dxeFVNOUUxWE16WEZWc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHqJb76nrQUpUJwYSozpLddnesAP0SW_E4IFt1isfzJ8ntD3knVgy7ngY55KW_aem_ayHbUOqQBnM2jYaAC6IxPQ&triedRedirect=true

[23] Ibid.

[24] Ibid.

[25]Sravanthi Penubarthi et. al. 2022, National Library of Medicine,  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9460025/