I see a lot
of millennial men breaking under the pressure of life, giving up work, relying
on their wives, or their parents, and almost completely shutting down as
productive members of society.
Some snap out
of it.
Many so far
have not.
Some are
incredibly resentful at those who challenge them. Some just have this look of
pure defeat in their eyes.
Something
really broke the millennial generation. You could probably identify a lot of
causes, maybe I will write about some. A few that come to mind right now are:
therapy culture, online culture, large scale immigration blocking their pathways
to the same easy success boomers generally had, multiple financial crises
happening at stages of their career development, medicalization of many mental
health issues, the diversification of the work force blocking a lot of paths to
success, and more. There are many causes of these issues.
But men,
sometimes we just have to overcome, for the sake of our wives, our kids, our
families, our descendants, we just have to get back up and keep going. Even
when we don’t want to. Plenty of men in the past have done that.
This is not a
guilt trip. It is just reality. You can choose to give up and you will not
leave a legacy or mark pretty much anywhere, and certainly not when you are
gone, as many men have. Or you can accept reality and seek to mold aspects of
it to your will, as many men have done before you. Both kinds of men exist in
every generation, I do suspect those who give up are more prevalent in ours.
“This is not
fair!!!” I hear you cry. Correct, life is not fair. There is just something to
be said for accepting reality and seeking to be what we are called to be as
men, providers and shapers of civilisations.
I have no bone in this fight, being a happily married Gen X man with a kid. And I married older because I wanted love and respect and had to experience today's feminist BS so I am an example of what you say: overcome, etc. I agree with much of what you say.
ReplyDeleteBut the entire message is toxic. First the meme. A man provides even when it gets nothing in return? Sorry, this is slavery, not masculinity. All men in history have gotten something in return: love, respect, etc. So no, it is not true that "Plenty of men in the past have done that".
American men should stop impersonating the "macho man". "You are a man", so you should be a super-man who should be a hero in a novel that only exists inside your head. It gets tiring. The "eat all the sh*t and ask for more because you are a man" is so ingrained in American culture that you don't see it. Too much John Wayne and Rambo.
Then you meet American men in real life and you realize that this rhetoric is only words. They are weak and p*ssywhipped. Instead of challenging feminism in real life, they pretend they are very macho while they do nothing but adapt to the most feminized society in the world.
Men, as any biological being, respond to incentives. They are not martyrs who have to give their lives for the sake of people and societies who treat them like sh*t. They can be tough as long as they receive something.
All the "Man up!" rhetoric about "You are a man so take it", "You are meant to be providers and shapers of civilization" are only words and will have no effect until incentives are changed. This macho pride does not compensate for a life of sh*t. Millennial men do well if they don't enter in toxic relationships.
Sorry to be that blunt. I am a faithful reader, but I really disagree with this post.
Disagreement is fine brother.
DeleteThink about what you said, you interpreted a post from me saying that men should provide whether they are appreciated or not, into me saying men should be supermen. That is really interesting to me.
A man who does not provide is worse than an unbeliever, that is Paul's words. It is a summary of the Bible's position on the issue.
We do not fulfil our duties as men because it makes us more liked, but because God calls us to this and made us for this, and it is therefore good for us, even when it does not feel good.
Also I did not say "Man up." I did something different. I noted a reality, a truth, one that is hard for many men to accept: only those who fulfil their role will make a stamp. We can proclaim that it is unfair, and it is, but that is life. We were never promised fairness in this life.
I write plenty about the ills of women on this page. Sometimes I address issues I see with modern men as well. I appreciate you reading, and appreciate you speaking up.
I have already written a follow up post about this today, before I read your comment. Will be interested to hear your thoughts on that too. It does not fully address your response, but maybe I should write another one about it too.
I find the anger this meme induces in some men truly interesting. To me it is one of the most inspiring moments I have ever seen in a show or in a speech in my life. Gus Fring is simply defining man according to how manhood has been understood since time immemorial. And it is so simple.
In the context of the show it is a high status man rebuking a lower status man. But the comment transcends that situation.
I find it freeing. A man does not have to be a superman or an Astronaut to fulfil his role. All he has to do is provide. It is so simple, so beautiful, so achievable. Maybe I did not convey that perfectly in my post.
Bluntness does not bother me, either. It is also appreciated.