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Friday 21 October 2022

Sexless Hellscape

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The world of free love was supposed to be a sexual paradise, but instead it's becoming a sad barren existence

"Although millennials are in or around their sexual prime, some members of this generation around the world have reportedly been “retreating from sex”. Accounts from millennials forums including r/DeadBedrooms corroborate this, especially for married and long-term couples. 

Some recent statistics tell a similar story: a 2021 survey of adults ages 18 to 45 across the US, conducted by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and sex-retailer Lovehoney, showed that among married adults, millennials were the most likely to “report problems with sexual desire in the past year”. The survey showed 25.8% of married millennials reported this problem, while only 10.5% of married Gen Z and 21.2% of married Gen X adults reported the same.

Although “low desire isn’t necessarily synonymous with being in a sexless marriage”, says Justin Lehmiller, research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, “when one or both partners in a marriage experience a drop-off in desire for sex, sexual frequency usually declines – and loss of desire is one of the biggest reasons why marriages become sexless in the first place”.

What, exactly, is going on? Sex therapists and researchers suggest a variety of factors that may explain millennials’ sexless marriages, from their current life stages to the almighty influence of the internet. Regardless of the specific reasons causing sexual fractures in the bedroom, overwhelmingly, this generation is facing some unique – even unprecedented – obstacles to healthy sex lives...

...In addition to social media, the experts agree porn has had an outsized influence on millennials, many of whom came of age just as porn was becoming widely accessible online. This, of course, is a huge shift from previous generations. “In the 20th Century, some guys tended to be sexually compulsive with lots of women,” says Snyder. “These days, they just tend to watch lots of porn.” In other words, they don’t have to seek out sex with another person to have a sexual experience that involves other people, even if those people are only in a video.

Anderson has many younger-than-45 male clients in sexless marriages who suffer from “porn-induced erectile dysfunction”, she says – a condition that makes it either impossible or very difficult to achieve an erection without pornography and with a real-life partner. This can lead to them preferring solo sex over sex with their partners. Some of them get used to having total control over their pleasure, she explains, or to the more extreme images they see in porn that their married sex can’t live up to."

The article suggests several reasons for this decline in sex including stress, the economy, social media, and porn. But it adds up to a sad reality, the promised sexual liberation of the free love movement has disintegrated into increasing sexual barrenness, especially for millennials. 

Free sex, promiscuity, porn, hook ups, risky liasons, affairs, and more were supposed to enter humanity into a golden age of freedom. When in reality it is enslaving a generation to pleasuring themselves. People are increasingly becoming lovers of themselves. 

People have a choice, the sexual morality of the world, or this:

"15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
    streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
    and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?" (Prov. 5:15-20). 

God doesn't want to stop you from enjoying sex, or enjoying life. He shows you how to get the most out this life. Marriage is intended for your joy. Sex between a husband and wife is a gift meant for your good. But people have searched for pleasure in everything but God's intended design for humanity, and the result is countless couples living cold, sexless, barren lives. 

The choice is before you, delight yourself in your wife, if you are a man, or your husband, if you are a woman, or find yourself losing out on the pleasure and joy God created for you. 

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