Not Quitting Isn’t a Skill

 

Bear Grylls, on his social media, speaks to one of the most important realities of being able to succeed at virtually anything in this life:

“The best piece of advice I ever received about resilience didn't come from a book.

It came from the first SAS officer I ever met.

I was crazy nervous before Selection. I didn't know if I was strong enough or fit enough to make it.

He pulled me aside and said:

"Everyone who attempts Selection has the basic mark-one body: two arms, two legs, one head, and one pumping set of lungs."

Then he tapped his chest.

"What makes the difference between those who make it and those who don't is what goes on in here. Heart. That is what makes the big difference."

Skills can be taught.

Fitness can be built.

But heart? That's a choice you make every single day.

When people around you are quitting, make that the reason to give more.

Have a great Wednesday. Take care of each other.”

Amen. This is true in so many areas of life:

Family

Career

Ministry

Writing goals

Etc, etc.

Not quitting is not a skill, it is a decision. It is a decision you make every day, in fact more than that. You might have to talk yourself out of quitting your job, your marriage or your ministry many times in a single day. And it is worth the effort to do this, because once you come through the time of trial you will have been transformed in ways that you would not have, if you had quit.

Whenever someone quits something they were determined to succeed at, it leaves a mark on them. That does not mean there are never times to stop trying with something. I worked out very quickly into my PhD studies that I did not need a doctorate in theology, that I did not want to work in academia (especially after I had seen what it was really like in today’s world), and that I could better use my research and writing skills in other ways, which I have. So, I understand that there are times when we do not need to complete something. But this decision left a mark on me, it helped me to understand more about myself, and because I took what I have worked on and turned it into a book I could publish it left a positive mark.

But when people quit something they really wanted to succeed at and leave behind them nothing but loss, it leaves a different kind of mark. We all have that from some point in our lives. I think every now and then about what would have been different in my life if I kept pursuing footy. Probably not a lot, however I will never know for sure. But when it comes to a marriage, or an important vocation, when you look at people who have quit these, then you see how much it can harm their path forward. It leaves a mark that they carry with them the rest of their lives, a negative mark. Because they made a decision to quit, when they know they should have kept going.

This decision to quit damages their resilience to other situations in their life. It leaves them with a mark of failure, and they know it. Of course, to a large degree they can heal and succeed at other things, but the mark will stay with them.

Whereas sticking at something when it is hard helps us to learn the strength to face other difficult things. But, as I said, this is not a skill, it is a decision. It is decision to want to keep going.  

My kids see me do some form of exercise everyday. Everyday, unless I am sick, of course. I said to them the other day, do you think I always feel like exercising everyday? One them answered yes. But I said, that of course I don’t want to, I’d rather rest, and not have to worry about exercising, but how else am I supposed to stay strong?

We have to make the decision to keep at something. I encourage you today to think about this.