The Problem With Rebuking A Fool

 

The problem with rebuking a fool is that they often cannot actually understand what you are even saying. The intelligence gap is real, but just because someone is not as smart as you does not mean they are a fool. However, if they are both foolish and less intelligent, you are opening yourself up to a world of hurt just trying to give the person an honest rebuke, feedback, or criticism. A world of hurt. 

As one of my best friends says, “Don’t argue with a stupid person, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” And as Aristotle has said, some people cannot be taught. No amount of information is enough, because they are not capable of processing the information. Of course, that is my paraphrase of Aristotle, but that is the basic summary of his position on the issue. Some people just cannot process information very well, and when you seek to rebuke them, they will take that, twist it a dozen different ways in their head and then launch into an attack against you and before you know it you are in some stupid fight about some other issue that you never even intended discussing. They dragged you down to their level. 

A good example of this kind of person is the guy at the roundabout, or somewhere else in traffic, that cuts you off and nearly takes you off the road and then turns around and gives you the finger, even though he was completely in the wrong, and there is no way you could have contributed to the situation, except by existing in that place at that moment. This man is a fool, he is so foolish, that he thinks your existence is some kind of impediment on his right, will, or desire to do whatever he likes on the road, and so when you are in his way, you are the problem, even though you did no wrong. What would be the use of seeking to reason with such a man? 

A man of understanding is very different to this. Solomon notes, “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool” (Prov. 17:10). Solomon here is agreeing with both Aristotle and my friend. He is noting that there is no point reasoning with some people, because they cannot learn, they are unteachable in the most basic definition of that term, and seeking to reason with them is only going to cause you more pain, frustration, or anguish. It is a pointless endeavour, like decaf coffee. As he says elsewhere, “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself” (Prov. 26:4). This is the biblical way of saying, don’t argue with a stupid person, because he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 

One way to avoid being dragged down to this level and being made like the fool, is when you are arguing with such a person, you need to stay relentlessly on track. You need to make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of going down the little side trails and alley ways that the person is going to launch at you to try and get the upper hand. They will try insults, they will attack your character, they will seek to impute you with the guilt of your ancestors and your ancestors enemies. They will bring up any flaw or fault you have committed in the conversation and make it about that very little thing. Or they will bring up any wrong you have done them in the past with a recollection that will surprise you and momentarily throw you off guard, because they will display the recall of a highly advanced debating machine that belies their lack of understanding in many other areas. But remember, this is their skill set. They think not in abstract thoughts and concepts, but in rhetorical flourishes of emotions, so they are experts at bringing up emotive attacks in rapid succession. If you argue with a stupid person they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience…See that? My friend was absolutely right. 

Another approach would be to just not engage with them. 

Of course, sometimes a fool needs to be rebuked, “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes” (Prov. 26:5). This Proverb may appear to contradict the previous one which says do not answer a fool according to his folly. But, remember, the book of Proverbs is not a list of rules for life, it is a series of observations about wisdom, and the wise man knows that one situation calls for one sort of the response, and another calls for another. Sometimes it is necessary to fight fire with fire, so as to get through to the person you are rebuking. Sometimes this how you help the fool become wise. However, I would advise you to do this rarely and sparingly, because the previous Proverb is more applicable in most situations. 

However, it is legitimate to sometimes respond to the rhetorically inclined in an argument with rhetoric of your own. Just be aware, that when you seek to hit someone’s emotions, you will get an emotional response. And that response can be unpredictable. You might break through, you might cause them to recoil back and launch an even worse barrage at you. What you can be confident of though is that they will understand what you are saying when you do that, better than they will understand any well-reasoned and thought out argument that you can put together. Using logic with the illogical is illogical. Yet how many times have you sought to do that very thing? Even the person capable of complicated reason can find themselves doing what is irrational. 

Part of the reason this happens is that we tend to think that everybody is the same and with just the right amount of education and intelligence they will be able to understand what you are saying. But Aristotle, Solomon and my friend have all noted that this is not the case. If we can’t accept this, then the biggest irony of all is that we then become the fool incapable of instruction. You see that? That’s fascinating, isn’t it.