Never to old
to start again right…because this is text, I have to state that I am being
facetious. But of all the things the older generation is doing right now, one
of the things which I think is the worst is that they are still getting divorced
in large numbers,
“Turns
out, “gray divorces” (a.k.a. splits after age 50) have more than doubled in
recent years.
In
1990, 8.7 percent of all divorces happened among adults 50 and older, but by
2019, that number had grown to 36 percent, per research in The Journals of
Gerontology co-authored by Susan Brown, PhD, a professor of sociology at
Bowling Green State University. There are a few reasons for this trend: For one
thing, a large share of divorces are happening specifically within the Baby
Boomer generation, adds Brown, or people born between 1946 and 1964, because of
the 1970s divorce revolution in the United States.
During
this time, legally separating from your spouse became a more socially
acceptable and accessible way out of an unhappy marriage, says Brown. As
attitudes around divorce shifted, women also gained more rights and financial
independence with the passage of Title IX in 1972 and the Equal Credit
Opportunity Act in 1974. It’s no coincidence that the divorce revolution
happened alongside the women’s liberation movement—and the impact of both
events is still felt today. “Women have options they didn't have before,” says
Kelly Cichy, PhD, a human development and family science professor at Kent
State University. “Between paid employment and levels of education, there are
options to walk away from a marriage that didn't exist in the past.”
So,
some boomers who married young got divorced in the 70s, and are getting
divorced again because second marriages tend to be less stable, Brown says.
Why? Chalk it all up to experience. “If you've divorced once, your norm about
marriage and the idea that you have to stay in it ‘till death do us part’ is
already a little bit weaker,” adds Cichy.
Additionally,
people are living longer—the average life span rose from 70 years old in 1960
to 77.5 years old in 2022, per the CDC. So, the idea of staying in a difficult
marriage for decades, especially when you can leave, is less appealing. This is
especially true for people over 50, who may be living longer, but in worse
health and sometimes involving chronic conditions, per a study in The Journals
of Gerontology. Women, in particular, are awakening to the reality that
marriage—especially later in life—involves a great deal of caretaking, Cichy
says. If you are already unhappy with the quality of your marriage, continuing
to deal with your spouse “in sickness and health” is not as enticing.”[1]
They say that
if you can do something for 30 days you can keep doing it for life. But Boomers
can’t even do this for marriages they have been in for 30, 40, 50 years.
There are exceptions
of course. Many older people are a testament to marriage fidelity. But there is
a large cohort in the older generation who are still taking stock of their life
and thinking that they exist in this world for self-fulfilment. This is why
Jesus only allowed divorce for sexual immorality, because he knew that given
the freedom to do otherwise people would find a thousand and one reasons to get
divorced and would do it in large numbers.
But it was
specifically the Boomer generation that advocated for no-fault divorce, and
that is why divorce is increasing as they get older, because they are bringing
their cultural history with them, even into retirement homes.
For those
older people who are not heading towards divorce, and who are determined to make
it till death-do-you-part, can you do something for the younger generations? Mentor them in how to succeed. If you are from the Boomer generation and you
have managed to stay faithful and married all these years, then you have
actually withstood probably the greatest possible pressure to get divorced of any generation and therefore
you have incredible advice to offer your children and younger people in your
church. You are a wealth of information and experience, and we need that
information and experience to be shared.
Remember, you
are never too old to make life changing mistakes. But conversely, you are never
so old that you do not have something to offer. This is not about age, but
generationally aggregated choices. A number was done on the Boomer generation
with regards to propaganda and social messaging. They were just young enough to
come of age when society wide messaging reached its technological peak and being
the first generation to experience it, they had the least capable defenses against it.
But if you resisted that, then you have something to teach younger people today
who live in the midst of constant antichrist and antifamily messaging. Let’s
turn this ship around together.
List of
References
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