Feminists
are like that person who reads the book of Proverbs and says, “Nah, I want to
learn every single one of these principles the hard way, before I admit I was
wrong all along.” But at least they are learning, the dream of having it all,
the job, husband, perfect kids and the career, was always a lie. Whenever someone tells you
that you can have it all, they are lying. As, amazingly the Guardian
notes,
“Although my job was intellectually demanding, nothing
prepared me for how challenging looking after young children can be. It is
unlike any other job I have done. The difference is you can do it badly without
losing your job.
We’ve moved from it being impossible to have a job if you
have children, to the impossibility of not having a job when you have children,
and this has been exacerbated by parents in the media and in parliament who
have chosen to work and cannot understand why anyone would choose anything
else.
The government has demanded that women with young children
should work. How long will it be before we recognise the advantages of having
young children looked after by a loving, dedicated adult, and how many fewer
anxious and depressed teenagers and adults might we have as a result?”[1]
Parenting is one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do in your life, but doing it properly is hard and consistent work. It requires focus, sacrifice, dedication and patience. Putting
yourself first, so that your career can flourish, and expecting that your
children will also flourish is just not really that possible. Many people will
argue with me, and say, “But my kids turned out fine.” But how many of those
kids have had therapy, addictions, broken relationships, and serious periods of
rebellion. Many. We should not base the way we structure society on the
exceptions, but the norm. And the normal kid is severely disadvantaged in life
by a mother that works fulltime out of the home, in many different ways.
The basic argument for why women should work and not stay in the home, is that whatever task the woman has at work requires her undivided attention for at least 8-9 hours during the day time, but the women’s own children of far more value and worth, do not need that attention. Which is really backwards. And let’s not kid ourselves, most working women are doing menial work, not world changing research that will change the course of history. This is true for many men as well, but it is the man’s role to provide, it is the women’s role to nurture, and kuds need that nurturing.
Women have been sold a short shrift when they have been told
that they can have it all, with the amazing family at home and the career. This
is not how the family home was designed to work. And the results of our society
wide experiment of putting so many women into the workforce, proves this to be
true. Children need their mothers in the home. If you are among those whose
children are doing fine without it, imagine what they could be with their
mother in the home?
[1] Fiona
Berry, 2023, “Let’s stop pretending that parenting and work can be perfectly
balanced” https://www.msn.com/en-au/lifestyle/familyandrelationships/let-s-stop-pretending-that-parenting-and-work-can-be-perfectly-balanced/ar-AA1fstMm?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=de949ae20c8f4332bb0aee02928ce148&ei=15&fbclid=IwAR3zoZR9Om8LRY36OGsSQSpFwo5H6i8-ok5mp5APW0grHjOkKcLmTc5ceDE
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