Serving, Leadership and Strength

 

The world has no shortage of models for male leadership. They range from the charismatic visionary to the ruthless conqueror, from the detached executive to the passive observer. Yet, in the midst of this cacophony, the words of Jesus Christ cut through with a clarity that is both unsettling and transformative. He presents a model of leadership so counterintuitive, so opposed to our innate desires, that it can only be understood through the lens of His divine identity and mission. As articulated in Matthew 20:17-34, Christian leadership is not about ascending to a position of comfort and command but about descending into a posture of service and sacrifice. For men seeking to lead rightly in their homes, churches, and communities, this passage issues a powerful call: to embrace true, responsible leadership by being willing to drink the cup that Christ Himself drank. Some call this servant leadership. 

The term servant leadership has rightfully come under a lot of criticism in recent years. This is because many pastors have turned the powerful biblical vision of how our Lord Jesus lead and served, into a pusillanimous obsequiousness that most men are repelled by. What many men see they are being called to by the Church is to submit to their wives, never take the initiative, be willing doormats, and just general push overs in wider society. But the Lord Jesus Christ came not to be served but to serve, but there is no way he could be described as a push over who never takes the initiative. It is clear that a biblical reality has been twisted and perverted to tame Christian men in a way that Bible never intended. So, is there something good in this concept of leaders who serve? Well, if we look at it through the lens of Jesus Christ in this passage I think we can redeem the term and move away from dangerous presentations of the idea. Jesus wants his men to be overcomers not roadkill.  

The foundation of this call is the profound identity of Jesus Himself. He is not merely a moral teacher or a wise rabbi; He is the Divine Godman. His repeated use of the title “Son of Man” is a direct claim to the authority and dominion described in Daniel 7. This is a figure who rides the clouds of heaven—an act reserved for God alone—and is presented before the Ancient of Days to receive an everlasting kingdom. This is the King of the Universe. Yet, this same King, in the very passage where He foretells His glorious reign, predicts His own humiliation: betrayal, mockery, flogging, and crucifixion. The one who holds all authority willingly submits to ultimate injustice. This paradox is the heart of the gospel and the blueprint for biblical masculinity. A man’s strength is not diminished by service; it is perfected and sanctified by it. Leadership finds its true source not in self-aggrandizement but in submission to the ultimate Authority.

It is in this context that we encounter the misguided yet revealing request of the mother of James and John. She recognizes Jesus’ kingship—she sees the thrones of Daniel 7—but she fundamentally misunderstands the path to them. She operates on a worldly economy of power, seeking prestige and position for her sons. Jesus’ response redefines everything. He asks, “Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” This cup is the cup of suffering, obedience, and sacrifice. It is the cup of the Cross. His question is the central question posed to every man who would follow Him: Are you willing to embrace responsibility, hardship, and suffering for the sake of others?

This is where the world’s lie must be exposed. Servant leadership is not about being a passive doormat; it is the exact opposite. It is about proactively taking as much responsibility for yourself and others as possible. A doormat is walked on because it is weak, inert, and has no agency. A servant leader, like Christ, acts from a position of immense strength and intentionality. He chooses to lead in such a way that it serves the ultimate good of God and the benefit of others. He is not leading just to glorify himself, but to glorify God. He chooses to sacrifice. He chooses to take on the burdens of others. This is the essence of Christ’s command: “whoever would be first among you must be your slave.” A slave in the Roman world was responsible for the well-being and success of the entire household. His role was one of immense, active responsibility. This is the picture of biblical masculinity—a strong, purposeful, and dedicated taking up of responsibility for the spiritual, emotional, and physical flourishing of those under your care.

This leadership plays out in the grit of daily life. It is the husband who lays down his pride to lead his wife in love, not because he is weak, but because he recognizes that she is the weaker vessel (1 Pet. 3:7) and he is called to carry a greater load of responsibility than her. Men who lead like Chist are strong enough not to be swayed by the cries of this culture that they should bow to their wives, but they don’t seek to cruelly dominate them either. It is the father who sacrificially invests time and discipline into his children, taking responsibility for shaping the next generation. He does not see his kids as a distraction in his life, but he sees his career, his calling, his provision as a means of making sure they flourish. It is the boss who leads his team with integrity, protects them from corporate exploitation, and mentors them for success, because his goal is their growth, not just his own bonus. It is the church elder who bears the burdens of the congregation, praying regularly for the flock and speaking the truth in love, even when it is costly. The Church leader who follows Christ does not fear criticism for speaking the truth, he fears what God will do to him if he does not speak truth. This is drinking the cup. It is an active, courageous, and often painful undertaking.

The world “lords it over” others, seeking to dominate and control for personal benefit. But men of the Kingdom are called to a higher standard. We are called to lead like Christ, who “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Jesus Christ gave commands, direction and he was no shrinking violet. But his leadership also sought to serve the will of his Father and the good of those who he was speaking to. His service was the most powerful, world-altering act in history. Our service, in its own measure, carries that same power. It ransoms marriages from discord, children from folly, workplaces from corruption, and churches from apathy. If harnessed properly it makes us other focused and driven to serve God. But never weak. 

This passage in Matthew ends with the healing of the blind men, who alone saw Jesus clearly. Their prayer must become ours: “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Men, we must ask God to open our eyes to see the true Jesus—the serving, suffering, sovereign King. We must see that the path to true greatness is paved with humble service. This does not mean we won’t take initiative. It does not mean we don’t seek to lead. It does not mean we will be doormats. But nor should we be mini tyrants. We must reject the cultural caricatures of strength that lead to isolation and emptiness. We must embrace the strength to serve, the courage to sacrifice, and the resolve to take responsibility. The cup of suffering and service is before us. It is the cup of our King. The question for every man is this: Will you drink it?