Sometimes we just need a bit of fun and to remember that being smart does not actually make someone useful to society. This article is hilarious, a bit dated, yes, but still funny because it shows what passes for science can often just be a joke,
“Every day there are new
studies, surveys and polls. Some are valuable but most are irrelevant, don't
you think? I think so. In fact in just the first four months of 2016 I've come
across 8 dump research studies paid for by donors, tuition, grants and taxpayer
money. Can an entrepreneur learn anything from this dumb research? Believe it
or not, we can. But first, let's go to the data, shall we?
1. Spiderman doesn't exist.
After an extensive analysis,
researchers at Cambridge University have concluded that the larger a person is,
the more adhesives he would need to stick to a wall, making it virtually
impossible for a normal sized human being to have the characteristics of
Spiderman. "If a human, for example, wanted to climb up a wall the way a
gecko does, we'd need impractically large sticky feet -- and shoes in European
size 145 or US size 114," said Walter Federle, senior author also from
Cambridge's Department of Zoology. As for Batman, the jury's still out.
2. Most of your Facebook
friends are not really your friends.
A study done by an Oxford
University professor of more than 3,300 Facebook users in the UK concluded that
there were only 4.1 "dependable" friends out of a typical user's 150
Facebook friends. "Friendships," our brave professor concluded.
"Have a natural decay rate in the absence of contact, and social media may
well function to slow down the rate of decay. However, that alone may not be
sufficient to prevent friendships eventually dying naturally if they are not
occasionally reinforced by face-to-face interaction."
… 3.
Playing Tetris for just three minutes stops your craving for sex, alcohol and
food.
A team
of psychologists from Plymouth University and Queensland University of
Technology have determined, after many hours of Tetris, that the game can be
addicting and distract users from doing other stuff for a while like eating,
drinking and having sex. It kind of makes you wonder how they managed to finish
the study…”[1]
The article also lists studies that show healthy food and
exercise are good for you, and a bunch of other silly things to study because they are commonsense things. But such
is the state of science in our world, so much of it is publicly funded so people have
to work hard to find things to do to spend the budget money so they can ensure
they get their funding for next time around. This sort of bad systemic
structure is part of what causes a lot of science to be just junk science.
But it is not just that. Sometimes people want to study ridiculous
things. What I find interesting is the Irenaeus, the early Church Father,
anticipated this,
“…But if any one should ask
us whether every number of all the things which have been made, and which are
made, is known to God, and whether every one of these [numbers] has, according
to His providence, received that special amount which it contains; and on our
agreeing that such is the case, and acknowledging that not one of the things
which have been, or are, or shall be made, escapes the knowledge of God, but
that through His providence every one of them has obtained its nature, and
rank, and number, and special quantity, and that nothing whatever either has
been or is produced in vain or accidentally, but with exceeding suitability [to
the purpose intended], and in the exercise of transcendent knowledge, and that
it was an admirable and truly divine intellect which could both distinguish and
bring forth the proper causes of such a system: if, [I say,] any one, on
obtaining our adherence and consent to this, should proceed to reckon up the
sand and pebbles of the earth, yea also the waves of the sea and the stars of
heaven, and should endeavour to think out the causes of the number which he
imagines himself to have discovered, would not his labour be in vain, and would
not such a man be justly declared mad, and destitute of reason, by all
possessed of common sense? And the more he occupied himself beyond others in
questions of this kind, and the more he imagines himself to find out beyond
others, styling them unskilful, ignorant, and animal beings, because they do
not enter into his so useless labour, the more is he [in reality] insane,
foolish, struck as it were with a thunderbolt, since indeed he does in no one
point own himself inferior to God; but, by the knowledge which he imagines
himself to have discovered, he changes God Himself, and exalts his own opinion above
the greatness of the Creator.”[2]
What is most interesting about this is that Irenaeus has identified
the characteristic of the foolish scientist (or in this case taxonomist?). It is
the scientist who puts themselves in the place of God and after finding themselves
in this supposed place they end up pursuing insane quests for knowledge,
“? And the more he occupied
himself beyond others in questions of this kind, and the more he imagines
himself to find out beyond others, styling them unskilful, ignorant, and animal
beings, because they do not enter into his so useless labour, the more is he
[in reality] insane, foolish, struck as it were with a thunderbolt, since
indeed he does in no one point own himself inferior to God…”
How was Irenaeus able to foresee this kind of foolishness in humanity's pursuit for knowledge? Because wisdom begins with the fear of God, and the one who does not fear God will inevitably find themselves following a foolish path. Science cannot survive in a culture that does not submit itself to God. Because the knowledge of God being the creator is the basis of understanding our world to be orderly and rational and therefore knowable. But also because those who acknowledge such a God will seek to pursue orderly, rational and useful science. Apart from God though, anything goes. And where anything goes, things start to fall into chaos.
[1] Gene Marks, 2016, These are the 8 Dumbest Research Studies of 2016,
Entrepreneur, https://www.entrepreneur.com/business-news/these-are-the-8-dumbest-research-studies-of-2016/275060
[2] Horn,
Thomas; Roberts, Alexander; Donaldson, James. The Researcher’s Library of
Ancient Texts VOLUME II: The Apostolic Fathers: Includes Clement of Rome,
Mathetes, Polycarp, Ignatius, Barnabas, Papias, Justin ... Library of Ancient
Texts Book 2) . Defense Publishing. Kindle Edition.
No comments:
Post a Comment