The Importance of Family

 

Matthew Sermon 2 – 

You can watch the video of this message here.

Introduction

Two weeks ago we began a series on the gospel of Matthew, and we began by looking at the genealogies. At first glance there is not much that is interesting in a list of names, but as we saw a couple of weeks ago there was some incredible information in Matthew’s genealogy of Jesus. We saw it is an incredible work of Jewish art, we saw that Jesus was part of a long line of younger, overlooked brothers, we saw that some incredible but also scandalous women were counted in his genealogy and we observed from this how even Jesus’ genealogy shows how that the most irreputable sinner can be redeemed in Christ, and have their life turned to good.

Today I want to talk about the fifth woman mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus and easily the most important, his mother, Mary and also her husband Joseph “16 and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.” Everyone knows about the mother of Jesus from Christmas celebrations, even many non-Christians.  

I think one of the great things about Christmas is that the story of Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus is so well known by so many. As my daughter says Mary is her favourite Bible character and it is because she is a mum and because it is related to Christmas. It is a fantastic achievement that Christmas, that is Christ’s Mass, has sunk into the general culture of society. It is a travesty to consider how it is being repaganized today and often with the help of many Christians. But still, most westerners, and more beyond, are familiar with Mary and Joseph because of Jesus.

One of the downsides of this though is that this account has been shelved into the “Christmas stories box.” So that it is generally only taught on at Christmas time, and only in a limited way. But this account is far more than just a Christmas message, indeed, Christmas is about far more than Christmas. This account has so much to teach us about our God and how he wants to work in this world through his people. And just as vitally it has a lot to say about the importance of family.

I ended my last sermon on Matthew 1 by talking briefly about the importance of family. Because it would be an incredible missed opportunity to look at a genealogy and not talk about family. I said, “Never forget that our Lord Jesus Christ, according to the flesh, is descended from a long line of people who emphasized family. The devil is against family. Christians should never be.” The genealogies of the Bible show us just how important family is in the plans of God.

But at many points in history Christians have had what we would now consider some strange views about marriage, some that you could even potentially argue from Scripture. Like Paul who says this, “28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.” (1 Cor. 7:28). What are the troubles Paul is seeking to protect them from? The troubles that occur in marriage. Paul appears to be treating marriage more like an allowance rather than a real blessing. After all, you can get married, but you will suffer and he wants to spare you from that.  

I have even had people say to me over the years that God wants us to go out into the world and make disciples, not go into the home and make kids. Even though the first command in Scripture is “be fruitful and multiply.” I also wonder if the people who think this way ever stopped to consider that having kids is the most simple and successful way of making disciples? The strength of the Church begins in the home.

Marriage and family are so vital to the human experience, it should not surprise us that God decided to make it an integral part of the salvation plan of God. So today we are going to look at the birth of Jesus, and the importance of family, and see what we can learn from this passage. We will start with Joseph.  

A Just Man (vv.18-20) – The Apostle begins here by telling us about the character of Joseph the husband of Mary,

“18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered these things,”

A lot of people consider the Bible to be a book of fairytales. But if you read the way that people are described, the way they act, their hopes and dreams, their pain and joy, and the way they respond to stress, or boredom, or wealth, or poverty, or other situations, they all read as so realistic. C.S. Lewis even noted that it was the gospel writers who invented the modern narrative style, not any pagan writers. Because they read as so realistic and so relatable.

Joseph’s reaction to finding out that his newly betrothed wife is pregnant is thoroughly realistic, and indicative of a noble man. Let’s first establish the order of events and then we will discuss his response.

First Mary and Joseph are betrothed. Marriages in ancient Israel had a couple of stages, first the betrothal happened, and then a little later the wedding happened. Betrothal was not the same as modern engagement. From the moment the betrothal happened the man and woman were considered husband and wife. As this passage later notes, “And her husband Joseph…”

The betrothal began with the agreement of financial obligations, the trading of property and the transfer of legal obligations to the man and woman from the parents. This meant that even though they had not yet consummated the marriage, they were already legally bound and considered married, and therefore the same obligations that were placed on husbands and wives were placed on the betrothed. There was no legal difference for the Jews.  

Then the Angel Comes to Mary. Not long after Mary and Joseph are betrothed the angel Gabriel comes to Mary, as Luke tells us, and she is told this, Luke 1:26-27, 30-33,

“26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary…30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

This is a big few months for this young Jewish woman. First, she gets betrothed, then she is told she will be the mother of the Son of God most high, a divine child. Yes, that means Mary knew.   

Next, Mary goes quickly to her cousin’s house for three months, Luke 1:39-41, 56,

“39 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40 and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit,… 56 And Mary remained with her about three months and returned to her home.”

Because of the power of the Holy Spirit Elizabeth recognizes who is in Mary’s womb.

After this Mary comes back to Nazareth where Joseph is, and he discovers that she is with child. “When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.” The passage does not indicate that she tried to hide this. It is more likely she told him that this child was from the Holy Spirit, because this is a woman of the highest possible character.

She must have been a brave woman, because this was a scary situation for her, but she accepts her role with humility and noble acceptance.

But look at this all from Joseph’s perspective: His betrothed wife, whom he has not yet consummated the marriage with, goes to her cousin’s house for three months and then comes back and is pregnant. How would you respond to this? It is very likely that Mary tried to tell Joseph what actually happened, but how would you respond to such a tale? With strong scepticism.

This would have been devastating for the young man. He would have felt emotions of anger, betrayal, sadness, frustration and more.

The realistic nature of the Bible kicks in again here. From Joseph’s perspective Mary had to be an adulterer. We know he was wrong, but he could not have known this yet. He wasn’t a fool, ancient people might not have had science, but they knew where babies came from. And Jewish law made no legal distinction between a betrothed wife and a wife. He has two options here: a quiet divorce, or a public divorce which has the dangerous possibility of seeing Mary stoned to death.  

We know from other parts of the Bible, and history that the Jewish people considered adultery during the betrothal period just as sinful as after the consummation. We see in Genesis 38 when Judah finds out his daughter-in-law that is promised to his son commits adultery, this is his response, Genesis 38:24, “24 About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” Judah changes his mind very quickly when he finds out that he is the one who is to blame. Judah also notes how unrighteously he acted in the whole situation.

The highest punishment for adultery was death. This was no different whether a person was betrothed or not. Deuteronomy 22:23-24,

“23 If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, 24 then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor's wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.”

As we noted before, whether betrothed or consummated it was considered a marriage, with the same legal obligations.

In fact, in Joseph’s day many different Jewish groups said that divorce was mandatory in the case of adultery, so that the man or woman who had been sinned against would not be defiled by the adulterous person.

So how does Joseph, the just man, respond?

Well, Matthew tells us this is what Joseph did, “And her husband Joseph,…resolved to divorce her quietly.” Wait, what? Why did Joseph choose this course of action? Why did Joseph not organize to stone her, as the law prescribed this punishment?

Some people might say he did this because he was lovestruck, and did not want to hurt his beloved wife. Not all marriages in that day were arranged, some were chosen (for e.g. Ruth and Boaz). Maybe he really loved Mary?

Some might say, it is because the Romans did not allow stoning at this stage, so he was seeking to follow the law of Israel’s conquerors. But the Scripture answers itself, and gives us a different reason: It is because he was a good man. “…being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame…” Being a just man he decided to be merciful and protect Mary’s reputation.

We know Joseph doesn’t have the full details yet, but from his perspective Mary was guilty of adultery. He has two motivations here: He wants to uphold the law and maintain his righteousness, but he also wants to show mercy. Mercy was an important part of the law. The law was not automatic, there was a requirement to show consideration, compassion and mercy when appropriate.  

Joseph’s action was consistent with this principle in Zechariah 7:8-9, “8 And the word of the Lord came to Zechariah, saying, 9 “Thus says the Lord of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another,…” True justice requires kindness and mercy. Joseph shows he understands the law properly and has a compassionate heart.

God and Nathan extended this same mercy to David when he confessed to what he did to Uriah and Bathsheba. Jesus extended the same mercy to the woman caught in adultery, and the many prostitutes who started following him in his ministry. Constantly we will see in Matthew how Jesus kept running into religious leaders who did not understand this principle of mercy. Again and again, they accused Jesus of breaking the law, because he worked on the Sabbath or did some other thing which they believed ignored the “letter” of the law. But Jesus showed that considering mercy was as important as understanding the letter.

Joseph shows he understands mercy. We know that Jesus learnt this form heavenly father, but he would have seen it modelled in his stepfather as well.  

And this last observation is important to, Joseph gave himself time to consider what he would do, “…20 But as he considered these things,…” He did not rush into anything. Only fools rush in, they say. At the very least he decided to sleep on it. There is great advantage in taking time to consider our thoughts about any particular issue or action. Rushing in leads to serious error.

So, we can see that God chose well. The man who would help raise his son while on earth was a just man. In just a couple of short verses the Apostle highlights how noble Joseph was. And as we know God would solve all of Joseph’s problems for him now anyway, because Mary was innocent.

A Blessed Woman (vv.20-23) – Joseph did not have to worry because this is no ordinary child, and Mary was truly a woman of character. As Joseph was considering how he would go about divorcing Mary quietly, an angel turns up and lets him in on the truth of the situation,

“20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).”

As we all know Jesus is the Son of God, and this was a long-prophesied event. And Mary get’s the privilege to be a part of this monumental event.

The New Eve – There is a sense in which Mary is the new Eve, it was prophesied all the way back at the beginning, that a man born of the woman would crush the serpents head, “15 I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” Built into the very beginning of the Bible is the promise that all the problems caused by the evil one will be solved.

Some people foolishly try to argue that Christianity has a problem with evil. “How can evil happen if there is a good God?”, they ask. But this questions shows a complete misunderstanding of the message of Christianity, because the whole point of Christianity is to correctly define and solve the problem of evil in this world.  

Without Christianity we, as a society, cannot correctly understand evil. Which is easy to prove. Just look at how insane morality has become in just a little time since our society chose to reject Jesus. Without Christianity our world calls evil good and good evil, very quickly.

The existence of evil is a foundational tenet of Christianity. Christianity has no problem of evil, it is the answer to evil. Jesus is that answer. As the famous Christmas carol says, “God rest ye merry, gentlemen, Let nothing you dismay, Remember, Christ, our Saviour, Was born on Christmas day, To save us all from Satan's power, When we were gone astray.”

Evil really proves Christianity is true, because only Christianity correctly identifies the evil we experience. And combats it. The incredible woman Mary is part of this plan to defeat evil.

The “he” to come - The fact that this promise was given to one of the daughters of Eve right at the beginning means that one of the questions all those who knew Genesis would ask at every birth of every boy is this: “Is this the he that is to come?” The Israelites were watching for the coming hero, the saviour, the one who would rescue Israel.

As Eve says in Genesis 4:1, “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” What is she noting? That she has bought forth a “he.” As we noted two weeks ago this is why all these genealogies exist in the Old Testament, they are tracing the lineage of the “he” to come. That is why they are a long list of “he’s”.

This means that in some sense, all the Jewish women who knew their bibles and had children believed that they were in some way fighting against the devil. Because one of them would eventually be the mother of the boy who would crush the serpents head. We see Anna in the temple waiting for this, Luke 2:38, “38 And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.” This puts the honour and power of motherhood in perspective, does it not?

Of course, a mother was also increasing the family name of her husband, adding to the wealth of her family with every child born, especially sons, and making her nation stronger. There were many practical and national reasons to honour motherhood. Other nations understood this as well. Only two kinds of people were allowed their names on gravestones in ancient Sparta: men who died in battle and women who died in childbirth.

But there was this spiritual reality as well: childbirth was a direct challenge to the evil one. Because he would be destroyed one day by the son of a woman. Having children was a defiance against the devil, whether the person knew it or not.  

This perspective on motherhood has been too some degree lost in our modern world. Most people love their mother and honour her. But motherhood is now seen as something extra to being a woman, unnecessary, even frowned upon.

Young Christian girls are not trained to be like the women of the Bible, they are generally not raised to be mothers. Bible colleges today seek to train women to be like the men of the Bible, not the women. They are trained and raised to avoid motherhood for as long as possible. They are trained to have careers where motherhood must be put on hold, they are encouraged to engage in things like sport and combat which might ruin their ability to be mothers.

I want you to think about this: every bible believing woman before Mary, had Eve as their role model of the highest purpose in life: to be the mother of the one who would defeat the devil. What did the women after Mary have too look to?

Elizabeth tells us, Luke 1:42, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!” They had the role model of the blessed mother. They saw that when God wanted to save the world, he did it through a man, but a man who had a mother. They saw that motherhood was the highest calling among women, and the greatest woman in history was the one who got to hold Jesus in her womb.

Women after Eve could look forward to the possibility of being the mother of the one who would defeat the devil, women after Mary had the ability to emulate the greatest of women.

I am going to say something that sounds thoroughly un-Protestant now, but bear with me. We have lost something in de-emphasizing Mary as much as we do as Protestants. Don’t get me wrong, Catholics go too far in saying we should pray to a human woman, instead of Jesus. Catholics also go too far in teaching the immaculate conception (the idea that Mary was without original sin). But Protestants have overcorrected, and have deemphasized the role of Mary, and this, I believe, has led to flow on effects for how Christian women see themselves in the modern world.

Our culture understands that if you want to convince women you give them secular, feminist “heroes”, so it goes out of its way to show women in politics, media and sports, doing things that men do.

What the media or culture calls a strong woman today, is just a woman acting like a man. And they push this message hard, because they want women to work, pay taxes and delay or avoid having kids. Our world is ruled by people who believe the earth is over-populated remember…think about how this informs their messaging. 

But for most of Western history, the greatest role model women would have seen everywhere in Christendom was the most blessed of mothers. There is something in that. It can be taken too far. But we have overcorrected, and now the importance of family does not get the emphasis it once did, even in the Church. Though, I think there is a growing movement seeking to correct this.

That does not mean that there is no role for single men and women to build into the kingdom of God. They play a vital part, like Paul, but this message today is on the first family of Christianity. The primary way in which we all live is in families. 

The Importance of Family (vv.20-25) – The beginning of the Bible cements the importance of family, Genesis 1:27-28,

“27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

And the beginning of the New Testament does the same,

“22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.”

Just as the Bible begins with a family, so too does the New Testament begin with a family. Because family is central to God’s plan for humanity.  

But where Adam and Eve disobeyed the command of God, Joseph and Mary do the opposite, “24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.”

Joseph is not the new Adam, because Jesus is. But it hard not to contrast the obedient Joseph with the disobedient Adam. Joseph was commanded to marry Mary, and he did. Joseph was told what to call Jesus and he did. In English, Jesus’ name Yeshua means Joshua, which means “the Lord saves.” A great name for the Messiah.

It is impossible to examine this and not see that God is going out of his way to show how vital family is. God can create anything out of thin air, he could have simply created a body for Jesus and brought him to earth as the God man, floating from the clouds.

But instead he made him part of a simple family, his father was a carpenter, a tradesman, a builder, his mother a humble woman, not royalty. God could have placed Jesus in a royal home, or noble home, or a notable home of some kind, but instead he placed him in an ordinary family home, because the human society can live without human kings, but it cannot live without human families.

Jesus also knew what it was like to be a brother. Joseph knew not his wife, until after Jesus was born. This tells us he knew her afterwards, Matthew 12:46, “46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.”

It would not have been an ordinary family if Jesus’ parents had not done what parents do. Jesus knew what it was like to have brothers and sisters and lift the ordinary human life that we live. And he did this for us. He did it perfectly, we don’t.

The Apostle Matthew has gone out of his way to show how human and realistic the situation was that Jesus was born into. Of course, his parents may have been average regarding their station in life, but morally speaking, they would have been a cut above most. Jesus’ earthly father was a just man, and his mother was a blessed woman.

We should not overlook the fact, that as part of God’s plan to save the world, he included a good father and a good mother.

Application – So what can we learn from the account of Jesus’ birth?

God values family incredible highly. I said a couple of weeks ago that the devil is against family, Christians never should be. I think we need to re-emphasize not just family, but the biblical model of family: father as provider and leader, mother as nurturer in the home.

Have you seen a Fast and the Furious movie, any of the recent ones? Have you noticed how much they go on about family. But it is not really a family, it is just a gang of thieves, criminals and street racers. The movies highlight honour among thieves, but not really family.  

Hollywood knows we cry out for family. It is the Church’s honour to have the chance to show the world how it is done.

Honour motherhood like the Bible does. I was watching an episode of Start Trek, and Captain Janeway, was telling another character that one of her ancestors was this famous astronaut and explorer, and that inspired her to become a Starfleet captain. Then Janeway found out, that her ancestor was none of those things, and turned out to be a simple family woman, who had a lot of kids and grandkids. Janeway was disappointed to find out her ancestor was so normal.

But Janeway is an astronaut and explorer and career woman, and she has no family or kids. If her grandmother had been what she is, she would probably never have been born.  

That is something to think about. You win the future by having kids, and raising them in the way of Jesus. And you work against the devil’s schemes.

Mercy. We also learn from Joseph that true justice requires mercy. This will be a big theme in the gospel of Matthew. The biggest motivation for being merciful is really simple, God has been far more merciful with us, then we will ever need to be with others.  

Salvation is only in Jesus. I will talk more about this next week, but we can’t skip over this, “21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Have you turned from your sins? Because that is the only way you can be saved. Jesus is the saviour of all who trust in him, but the condemner of those who do not. Only in him can you be saved.  

Conclusion – The world needs more men like Joseph and more women like Mary, humble, righteous and godly mothers and fathers. But even more than that, it needs Jesus. Because there are still many people who need to hear about the one who can save them from their sins. Let’s pray.