Sunday, 21 May 2023

Divorce and Decadence

 

Image: Unsplash

To what degree is the high rate of marriage breakups a twisted luxury of a kind of a well off, and overly pampered people? The easy way out in a culture where people have little resilience and lots of opportunity for giving in to weakness? In any culture there are marriages that fail. We see this even in ancient cultures and traditional cultures, the woman at the well in John 4 comes to mind here, as do other examples. So, you will never have perfection. But in a lot of cultures divorce rates are quite low.

One of the reasons for that is that it's hard for women to survive well on their own. So, in traditional cultures without high social safety nets and permissive cultures, divorce is relatively low. Which is why over the last 80 or so years, the overwhelming majority of welfare, and progressive policy has favoured women. To help them live without their husbands if they choose to, what feminists call “empowerment”. This has led to women divorcing at rates unheard of in history. The overwhelming majority of modern divorces are initiated by women. Because, though there are still challenges, in many ways life in the West has been made very simple. Women who left home could get a cheap rental, get all sorts of assistance from a variety of government and private sources, and in some cases they could even thrive because they could get a good deal with the house or assets, etc. Society often even encouraged this choice.

But now, government assistance cannot keep up with the rising costs of living in Australia. Even women with good careers are starting to struggle, if they are single, according to some reports. The massive inflation caused by the pandemic money handed out has broken the system in serious ways.

Will this have an effect on the divorce and separations rates going forward?

Will this incentivize people to choose to stay in a marriage that they once would have left, but now recognize that they are better off remaining in?

Was our high divorce rate, just a sign of an overly pampered society, where divorce was made economically easy, or even attractive and therefore common?

Will the rising cost of living stop a lot of divorces, or in other words save marriages?

The kind of divorces that really happened over minor reasons[i] (and there are lot of these, not all divorces are for serious reasons) in the past, might be too costly going forward? 

Is reality going to bite hard enough, to get people to stop acting like they have been? One can hope so. Our society needs to stop treating marriage as the lowest of all agreements, when it should be the highest of all covenants between human beings. That is, marriage between a man, and a woman, which should go without saying, because that is what marriage is, but in todays world it needs to be said. This kind of marriage is the highest of covenants that any two people, man and woman, can enter into, and it should be held in that kind of esteem again.  

I know some people will read this and think, "Yea, but Matt, what about this marriage that is too bad to stay in, or this one had to fall apart, or this woman was abandoned...etc, etc. I get all of that. Even in more traditional societies men abandoned women, and women could get divorce for certain reasons. You'll never have perfection in this life, as I said. But our modern society has taken this to plague proportions.

Many of the things we can get away with in society when things are easy, will be brought to a screeching halt by hard times. We are starting to see the beginning of this. When things get tough, not being totally satisfied with a personal relationship ranks far below starvation, cold and hunger. It should not have to get to this to prove to our society the importance of marriage. But we have had it so financially good for so long, we have forgotten basic truths. Will this kind of change be the upside of the coming hard times?

References



[i] Like marital dissatisfaction, or whatever that means.

ABC, 2023, Reality bites for thousands of Australians living in housing stress, https://www.msn.com/en-au/money/markets/reality-bites-for-thousands-of-australians-living-in-housing-stress/ar-AA1bjSpX?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=4269a705c26646c0b382ac42f3064af6&ei=11

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