A One Woman Man

The Bible gives us some clear directions about who we should appoint as elders/pastors in a church. It cannot just be any person, or even any man. We need to carefully and biblically select the right men to lead. An elder must be, according to Paul in Titus 1 needs to be the husband of one wife. 

A One Woman Man (v.6) – We will spend a fair bit of time on this next section, because it is both very clear and also incredibly ignored, “6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination…9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” So, unless you believe twisted things about gender expression, then Paul is 100% clear that teaching elders must be godly men, who are above reproach. Scripture is consistent on this issue. 

Above reproach – This means above credible accusation, above suspicion.

Above reproach means, he does not spend time alone with women that he should not, or spend time with women in a way that he should not. Billy Graham had a wonderful rule where he would not be alone with a woman, so as to not allow either opportunity for sin, or opportunity for accusation.

Martin Luther King Jnr, who is often thought of as great man of God, falsely, is well known for having cheated on his wife often. It was caught on tape. There are reports of even worse things happening. Not only was he not above reproach, the FBI had him on record doing these things.

Above reproach means he does not handle money in a dishonest way.

Above reproach means he doesn’t try to keep the running of the church hidden from people. But the Church finances are an open book. In fact, if he is wise, he handles the money in the view of others, so that there is no occasion for accusation. Or he delegates the handling of money, like Jesus did.

This doesn’t mean he won’t be accused. Because people even do try to accuse honest men. But he’ll be able to say, “Look I was never even alone with her, I don’t handle the money, and the whole church agreed on this expense being spent.”

Men – The teaching elder/pastor must be a man. I don’t know what command the modern church ignores the most. Is it the commands to evangelize? Or to avoid gluttony? To avoid pornea? To not seek the approval of man? I don’t know what it is, only God does I guess. But this is a common one, and it is growing. So much of the Church ignores the patriarchal teaching in God’s word. Patriarchy means leadership in society, church and home by men, and they ignore it to the detriment of society, church and men. The Bible is absolutely, unequivocally, undeniably, and unrepentantly patriarchal: “…appoint elders in every town as I directed you…the husband of one wife.” This excludes women, and it excludes polygamists. This is not an accident. Ancient pagan religion encouraged women to be priests, and it often gave male priests such power they could get access to many wives.

In fact, when we studied the cults a couple of years ago at Bible study, people were surprised how many of them allow polygamy.

Christianity is against both of these things. Christianity is anti-matriarchal, that is against being woman led, and anti-polygamist, that is against men hoarding woman.

I am not saying churches that do not follow this are not churches. They are simply churches that are out of order. They are churches acting in rebellion. This is not my opinion, this is a consistent teaching in Scripture, and church history, until about 100 or so years ago. Let me demonstrate.

Paul was consistent - 

1 Timothy 2:11-13 – “11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.”

This doesn’t apply to worship leading, because Miriam, Moses’s sister led worship in Israel.

1 Timothy 3:1-2 – “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…”

It is impossible to be the husband of one wife, unless you are a man.

Jesus set this standard himself – when he chose 12 men to be leaders of his Church movement. Matthew 10:1-4 – “1 And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction. 2 The names of the twelve apostles are these: first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; 3 Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; 4 Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.” 

If there was ever any man who flouted ungodly traditions more than any other, it was Jesus. Jesus had no respect, and in fact, utter contempt, for any human tradition that sought to overrule God’s traditions and God’s heart for humanity. He healed on the sabbath, made clay on the sabbath, triggering the Pharisees, said it was ok for his disciples to ground grain on the sabbath. He used imagery offensive to the Jewish people when teaching after feeding the 5000 in John 6. He railed against the Jewish leaders for abusing their positions of power with extra-biblical commands. He insulted men who deserved it, he insulted women who deserved it. He did not care, one iota, for human culture and traditions.

So, when Jesus chose twelve Jewish men, we can be absolutely certain that he was not just following the traditions of his age. He was not trying to be culturally sensitive. He was following a template outlined since creation: that God has given the man authority to name, and the woman the role of helpmate.

Both are vital, necessary and important roles. Neither to be disparaged, but also neither to be confused.

There are "Christians" today that believe if Jesus was around today he would have chosen 3 white Apostles, 3 black apostles, 3 Asian apostles, 3 mixed race apostles, 6 male Apostles, 6 women apostles, and a combination of gender expressions in the mix. As opposed to 12 men all of the same ethnic background. A lot of Christianity today is more disconnected from the Bible than it has ever been in any period of history ever.

But Jesus did not care about being culturally sensitive, he established a patriarchal church leadership. Patriarchal in the Christian sense, means, God the father, who is the first patriarch, God the son, who is equal with the father, and man who is far below God, but his steward in authority.

The choosing of the twelve is pretty explicit, but there is another just as important passage.

Jezebel – Jesus says this in Revelation 2:19-21 – “19 ‘I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first. 20 But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. 21 I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality.”

Now people tend to focus in on her sexual immorality here, in this passage. Which makes sense, as the sexual immorality is highlighted. But they miss that Jesus notes three problems with Jezebel – 1) she assumes authority, 2) she presumes to teach, 3) she is not chaste. Why is this significant?

Because this is the exact reverse image of what Paul says a woman should be in 1 Timothy 2:11-12, 15 – “11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet… 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” Paul gives the exact same list, but from the other perspective: a godly women is one who 1) does not seek to teach men, 2) does not seek authority over men, 3) she is sexually righteous, exemplified by seeking to be a mother, and not like Jezebel.

You can summarize what Paul says here as simply: don’t seek to be like Jezebel. In fact, this is where the idea of the Jezebel spirit comes from. Technically, the correct term should be “Asherah Spirit”, but to explain that would take an entire sermon or two itself.

These men need to not just be this way, but guard the church from rejecting these traditions handed on by Paul, “9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” These men who are above reproach need to make sure that these traditions are guarded. Not all tradition should be rejected, many traditions are good and protect us from bad things happening. The traditions the Bible itself hands down exist to guard the church from serious evil.

Sticking to the strong biblical tradition of patriarchal leadership, protects the church from many errors.

Just this week I saw an Anglican minister brag about how his church has allowed female pastors for some time, and on the exact same day, that denomination was splitting over gender issues, because the highly feminized Anglican leadership was allowing for homosexual leaders in their churches.

But here is another point: many of the famous evangelical leaders, that have pushed for women in ministry, have been revealed as having acted inappropriately with the women around them. Their desire to work closely to women should be seen not as progressive, but as a warning sign, or at the very least as foolish disregard for wisdom.

So, one-woman men, with good character, whose children are believers, are the only options for leadership. But what about their wives? 

This is an excerpt from a sermon, to hear the rest of this message click here.